Hello, gorgeous-es! Recently, journalist and gossip blogger Roger Friedman revealed the news that Barbra Streisand’s upcoming album of duets will feature a song with her and iconic singers Mariah Carey and Ariana Grande. Friedman anticipates that the album will come out in May 0r June of this year with tracks that also feature Paul McCartney, Bob Dylan and Sting.
Coming off of the legendary Jewish triple threat’s 80th birthday and the revival of “Funny Girl” in 2022, the release of her memoir “My Name Is Barbra” in 2023 and her first original song for TV in “Love Will Survive” for 2024’s “The Tattooist of Auschwitz,” it’s thrilling to have a new Barbra Streisand project to look forward to so early into 2025.
But what will the ultimate diva squad of Babs, Mariah Carey and Ariana Grande sing together?
Here are my predictions:
1. “Bang Bang”
To quote Daci Platt, my colleague at Kveller, I’m really hoping for a “Bang Bang” situation. You remember that song from 2014 about being a hot girl boss bitch? Oh, I need to be more specific? It’s the one by Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj and features the lyric “she got a booty like a Cadillac.” Yeah that one. In my mind, Mariah would sing Jessie J’s part, Ariana would sing her own part (but she’s only allowed in the studio if she dons her 2010s long ponytail and way-too-dark fake tan) and Babs would take Nicki’s verse. It’s only fitting given that Barbra is literally a Barb.
2. A cover of Babs’ “Jingle Bells?”
Mariah Carey is the queen of Christmas bops, Barbra Streisand is a Jewish music legend who inexplicably has four Christmas albums and Ariana Grande is a theater kid who loves a bit. Together, they would absolutely smash a cover of Barbra Streisand’s song “Jingle Bells?,” which dares to ask: What if Barbra Streisand embodied a Jewish cocaine enthusiast who is roped into going Christmas caroling but doesn’t know any of the songs?
3. Babs, Mariah and Ariana will read the entirety of “My Name Is Barbra”
This prediction is borne out of a complaint of mine. Namely, that Jimmy Carter won the Grammy for Best Audiobook this year over Barbra, who was nominated for narrating the audiobook to her memoir “My Name Is Barbra.” Yeah, sure, the former president won for an album in which he “gave Sunday Schools lessons” to “children” and after a 100-year impressive life he is now “dead.” (May his memory be for a blessing.) But what’s death in the face of Barbra Streisand narrating her nearly 1,000 page memoir in a recording that is over 48 hours long?! Justice for Babs!
With this track, I’m envisioning Babs, Mariah and Ariana all taking turns reading from “My Name Is Barbra.” That way Barbra can game the system, get nominated for the best audio book, narrating, and storytelling Grammy next year.
