Today, the Hallmark Channel released a slate of new holidays movies for its Countdown to Christmas collection. In total at least two of the 48 are Hanukkah related. Unfortunately for us (read: the Jews), they seem bad!
The first is scheduled for Dec. 8 and titled “Leah’s Perfect Gift.” Starring Jewish actress Emily Arlook in the titular role, “Leah’s Perfect Gift” is about a Jewish woman who loves Christmas. “But she has always admired the holiday from afar because she’s Jewish,” the synopsis in Entertainment Weekly reads. Alas, if only it were easier for Jews to participate in Christmas! It’s not like Christmas trees and Santa and candy canes and mistletoe and jingle bells and elves on the shelves are EVERYWHERE starting Nov. 1.
But let’s move on:
“When her boyfriend Graham (Evan Roderick) invites her to spend the holidays with his classic Connecticut family, she eagerly accepts. Excited to dive into the quintessential Christmas she’s always dreamed of, Leah quickly discovers that fitting in with Graham’s uptight family and his not-so-welcoming mom (Niven) is easier said than done,” the description continues. “As holiday traditions clash and awkward moments pile up, it is not quite the cozy Christmas that she expected.”
The concept of a Jewish person pining for Christmas feels overdone to me for a Hallmark movie. Not to mention it has slight “let’s convert the Jew” vibes. But, at the very least, the icy mom in this movie isn’t Jewish. So that’s kind of a win?
The second movie will air on Dec. 13 and is titled “Hanukkah on the Rocks.” Starring Jewish actress Stacey Farber of “Degrassi” and “Saving Hope,” this movie doesn’t seem quite as offensive as “Leah’s Perfect Gift.” However, it has its own problems. “One week before Hanukkah, corporate lawyer Tory (Farber) finds herself unexpectedly unemployed and questioning the career she’s dedicated years to,” the synopsis reads. “As she helps her Bubby prepare for the holiday, she embarks on a quest across Chicago to find the last box of coveted Hanukkah candles.”
What do you mean there’s only one more box of Hanukkah candles in Chicago? Have you tried the Jewel in Rogers Park? What about hopping on the Yellow Line to Skokie? According to the 2020 census, there are nearly 320,000 Jews living in Chicago. The Hanukkah candle rations surely cannot get that low.
The description continues: “Her search leads her to Rocky’s, an Old Town bar, where she encounters Jay (Daren Kagasoff), a charming doctor from Florida, his grandfather Sam (Marc Summers) and a cast of quirky regulars who make her rethink everything. Torn between keeping her job loss a secret and embracing a newfound sense of belonging, Tory ends up bartending at Rocky’s, transforming it into the vibrant ‘Hanukkah on the Rocks’ celebration.”
…
OK. To me, it feels a bit like the Hallmark writers looked at the 2022 Hallmark film “Hanukkah on Rye” and were like, “Hm…. what else can we put Hanukkah on?” Also, a Jew as a corporate lawyer? How original.
Finally, there’s one film which at least will have a Hanukkah scene. (Said photograph can be found under the headline for this article.) Called “Holiday Crashers,” the movie follows two best friends and card-makers crashing Christmas parties they made the cards for. Now, two Jewish characters crashing Christmas parties is a premise I could get behind. Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s the case. Rather, I think the photo, which features a cast entirely dressed in blue lighting a menorah (and a conspicuous seven-branch menorah in the background), might just indicates that these two characters end up crashing a token Hanukkah party. If that is indeed the case, my fingers are crossed they at least don’t pretend to be Jewish.
Following last year’s delightful Hallmark Hanukkah movie “Round and Round,” I had high expectations for this year. Bryan Greenberg and Vic Michaelis were pitch perfect as a couple stuck in a time loop on Hanukkah. By comparison, “Leah’s Perfect Gift” and “Hanukkah on the Rocks” fall flat. But I suppose if the movies are as bad as they seem, at least they’ll be long forgotten by the time Hanukkah actually rolls around on Dec. 25.
