As Jews, we are required by pikuach nefesh, protecting the sanctity of life, to take care of ourselves physically and mentally. But of course, that’s sometimes easier said than done. Over the last year, it’s felt impossible and in some ways selfish to prioritize taking care of ourselves when people on the ground in Israel/Palestine are suffering. And for those living in Israel/Palestine, taking care of yourself can quite literally be impossible when basic needs of safety, housing, clean food and water and medical supplies are not readily available.
And yet, we must take care of ourselves in any way we can. Take a deep breath and repeat after us: I must take care of myself.
In anticipation of the first anniversary of this awful day, we turned to you with questions. We at Hey Alma wanted to know how the lives of our audience members have shifted over the last year. One of these questions was: How are you finding comfort? What we received was a wide spectrum of responses from stories of leaning into Jewish rituals to embracing Jewish joy and more.
In sharing these responses, we hope to show you that you are definitely not alone in seeking comfort during this sad and stressful time. Perhaps, you might even find a new way relax and find solace on this very list! (You can also find an additional list of ways you can take care of yourself, sourced and published in the immediate aftermath of October 7, here.) And if you ever find yourself in need of Jewish comfort, looking on Hey Alma isn’t a bad place to start.
How are you finding comfort?
“I find comfort in my Jewish community, in making Shabbat dinners and deepening my connections.” — Anonymous
“I find comfort in talking to other Jews and supportive gentile friends. We vent our anger and frustration, we laugh at haters, we reflect, we make a lot of Jewish and Israeli references. Also this summer I read ‘Call Me by Your Name,’ and I was so happy that this book has a Jewish theme running through it — and this theme is addressed with such love and attention. Hey Alma brings me a lot of comfort, too.” — Anonymous
“I feel the strong urge to lean into the community. I have filled my family’s calendar with Tot Shabbats, community events put on by our local temples and federation, playdates with other Jewish families. I want to be around others who understand.” — Anonymous
“I am finding comfort by letting myself feel — the only thing worse than all the pain and sorrow is numbness. If we become numb to the pain and suffering of our own people, then we are losing our humanity.” — Anonymous
“I find comfort in lighting Shabbat candles. I never did it consistently until October 7. There is something very calming for me in feeling like I am adding a small amount of light and hope.” — Anonymous
“I find comfort teaching religious school to my third graders. As awful and scary as things have been for the past 10 months (and, realistically, longer), being with the kids helps me reconnect with my own Jewish joy. It’s a way to turn off the bad for a few hours a week and just focus on sharing my love of Judaism with them through teaching. And in return, the sweet, insightful and innocent thoughts they share with me always give me a boost to take back out into the world.” — Anonymous
“Finding comfort in distraction.” — Anonymous
“I don’t find comfort, I find distractions and compartmentalize.” — Anonymous
“Finding comfort through my community, the people that know and feel my pain and the very few non-Jewish friends who have reached out.” — Anonymous
“In these difficult times, I try to lean into the Jewish community near me. There is so much strength in our collective hearts despite the constant barrage of hate. We still seek joy and connection. We enjoy Shabbat dinners, we take walks in the verdant paths of an arboretum, we laugh and cry together, we drink endless cups of coffee and talk about how we wish we could go back to the peace we had on Oct. 6.” — 25, Michigan
“I’m embracing life and the Jewish joy found in my life and the lives of those that have passed on as much as possible. I refuse to let their love, light and radiant energy be forgotten. I will live — and be present — with loving ferocity in their honor. The memory of their souls are torches to carry, and I will do so with pride.” — Anonymous
“I am finding comfort in the Jewish-Palestinian community forming where I live and in the stories my Palestinian friends tell us about how their ancestors lived alongside and cooperated with Jewish people prior to the Nakba. They continue to pass down these stories of equal coexistence in ways we have largely forgotten to do.” — Anonymous
“I am so deeply tired, and I wish my non-Jewish peers could understand why. It is exhausting to carry grief and fear as a baseline for almost a year. When hope is continually crushed, your spirit is diminished, and for the first time in my adult life, I feel unable to fake the energy and attitude people have come to expect. I find solace in my young daughters and pray that their generation finds a solution, because it doesn’t seem like ours will.” — Anonymous
“I find joy in creating things. I’ve taken back up watercolors and find myself making Jewish focused art. It’s quite spiritually connecting. I’ve also been finding comfort in daily emails written by my rabbi. It helps refocus and allows for deeper thought and reflection.” — 28, Boston
“Spending time with friends.” — 20, New York
“I try to think of the good things, be thankful for good health and try to stay off social media and limit the news on TV.” — 72, New York
“I am so glad to have a wonderful husband and loving family members who lift me up daily.” — 27, Denver
“I’ve embraced Jewish joy as a coping mechanism. Art has been helping me connect with religious and cultural aspects. I’ve blocked and unfollowed many people and turned off notifications for news outlets. It’s not that I don’t want to be informed, but in my free time I want to limit stress and I want to be in a good headspace before I face tragedy and rampant antisemitism. I’ve learned that not every argument is worth my time, even with non-Jewish people who are close to me.” — 28, Portugal
“Best thing I have done for my mental health is to limit screen time. I usually end up doom scrolling so implementing breaks allows me to take a breath. The news will still be there when I return.” — 28, Boston
“I find comfort in my family and knowing that though I can’t be with my Israeli family at this time, I have friends who share this experience, and we spend time together. I think that’s the only way forward: being surrounded by people who you care for and eventually joy may come.” — 23, Sweden
“I’ve been trying to get back to making art. Mostly watercolor, but I decided I will be teaching myself embroidery. It feels so good to make things. My hands may shake a bit when I put on my Star of David necklace in the mornings, but it feels like donning armor. I watch ‘Golden Girls’ episodes and cook with my partner in the evenings. I try to get eight hours of sleep. I wash my face and make sure I am wearing sunscreen before leaving the house. If I want a treat, I have a treat because life is too short, too precious to restrict and punish myself. These days I run on impulse and seek out tiny joys.” — 25, Michigan
“I celebrate the small stuff with my community of friends.” — 24, Ottawa
Click here for more from the Hey Alma community on how this last year has changed us.
