The Jewish people have a sacred connection to nature. On Sukkot, it’s a mitzvah to shake the lulav and etrog and sleep under the stars in your sukkah. The pomegranate, with its 613 seeds, is seen as a tangible connection to the 613 commandments and is also a symbol of love and fertility in Jewish culture. And I’d be remiss not to mention Tu Bishvat, the birthday of the trees, which Jews celebrate every year on the 15th of the Hebrew month Shevat.
But despite our people’s connection to all that sprouts and grows from the earth, there are definitely some plants out there that are less Jew-friendly than others.
In honor of Tu Bishvat, here’s my ranking of plants that are either Jewish, antisemitic or somewhere in between. Am I a botanist, or do I have any sort of scientific or horticultural qualifications with which to render these judgments? Not exactly. I have a degree in English literature and my partner is in charge of watering the plants in our household. But what I lack in cold hard facts, I make up for in chutzpah and a login to Hey Alma’s website.
Here we gooooooo:
Wandering Jew Plant (Tradescantia fluminensis)
Let’s start out with an obvious one: antisemitic.
Tree of Life (עֵץ חַיִּים)
Jewish, duh.
Pine Tree (Pinus)
You might be surprised to learn that pine trees are Jewish! (They converted.)
Venus Flytrap (Dionaea muscipula)
Follow me here with some mathematical equations utilizing the transitive property:
Venus = Roman Goddess of Love
Ancient Rome = Empire that caused the destruction of the Temple in 70 CE
Destruction of the Temple in 70 CE = antisemitic
Cactus (Cactacea)
A plant that has a robust, protective outer shell? That’s Jewish.
Crab Apple Tree (Malus)
Not antisemitic, but definitely not kosher either.
Weeping Willow (Salix babylonica)
You might think a weeping willow is Jewish because of its name evoking a fragile, potentially anxious mental state. How stereotypical of you. The weeping willow is Jewish because willow branches are part of the lulav.
Those leaves they beat you with at the schvitz
Ashkenazi Jewish
Redwood Tree (Sequoioideae)
You mean the tree that Idina Menzel climbs on Broadway? Jewish.
Alder Buckthorn (Frangula alnus)
Deep, Henry Ford-levels of antisemitic.
Truffula Tree (Truffula Loraxica)
Not Jewish, but Italian. They’re used to the confusion.
Sensitive Plant (Mimosa pudica)
Once again, you’re probably thinking this plant is Jewish because of its anxious-sounding name… this time you’re right! Jewish.
Giving Tree (Arborus ShelSilversteinicus)
Jewish.
Rose of Sharon (Hibiscus syriacus)
Sharon? You mean the name of every Temple Sisterhood President ever? Jewish.
Dandelion (Taraxacum officinale)
When it has the bright yellow (some might say blonde) florets, it’s antisemitic. When it has the puffy seedhead, a la Larry David’s haircut in the ’90s, it’s Jewish.
Money Tree (Pachira aquatica)
Inconclusive.
