I am not the biggest reality TV girlie, but if you’re looking for a large dose of Jewish dopamine, I simply must recommend binge-watching season seven of “The Circle.” Therein you will find Deb Levy, a proudly Jewish 54-year-old woman and absolute ray of sunshine.
The premise of “The Circle,” like many reality TV shows, is lightly bizarre. A group of strangers all move into individual apartments in the same building, and for a few weeks they can only interact with each other — and only through a text messaging system. Some come into The Circle and are honest, playing as themselves, while others choose to catfish other players, pretending to be someone of a different age, gender, profession, etc. Alliances and true connections are formed through group chats, DMs and weird games, with the players competing to win $100,000. How do you win the money? Don’t get blocked.
My wife is a huge fan of “The Circle,” so she was delighted when I announced I’d be watching the latest season with her. Once I knew there was a loud Jewish self-identified HBIC (Head Bitch in Charge) as a contestant, I simply had to. Lucky for you, the full season is now out, so you can watch all of Deb’s shenanigans in one sitting.
I knew interviewing Deb would be a blast, and I was not wrong. Over the course of our conversation she met my wife, insisted on seeing photos from our wedding, let me know she gives really good baby gifts, called her own mom to ask about a Yiddish phrase, told me that my wife and I were now also her kids, and made me laugh more than I can remember in a very long time.
This interview has been lightly edited and condensed for clarity.
I was telling my wife yesterday, I gotta make sure my questions for Deb are locked in, and she was like, talking to Deb is going to be the easiest, most fun interview you’ve ever done.
It goes off the rails every time, because I want to know about you. I’m like, OK, tell me about your wife, about your mom… I want to interview you! If you had been single I would have been like, let me see if I can fix you up with someone!
Ha!
Also, I am having a hot flash! I get a little schvitzy sometimes, it’s OK!
Oh my gosh, I am dreading menopause because I’m already a little schvitzy!
But you know what? It’s all good. It gets powerful. I feel powerful since menopause.
OK, love this endorsement of menopause. What has life been like since the full season of “The Circle” aired? What is it like being a Jewish reality TV star?
So what’s really funny is when I applied for this and I got on, it was before Oct. 7, so my expectations were really pretty limited. I was like, you know, whatever’s gonna happen is gonna happen. I thought at the most, maybe someone would want me to be a spokesperson for menopause products. I was not expecting this to turn into a career or anything. Then we actually filmed after Oct. 7, and I almost didn’t go on the show. But what it’s been like after has actually been shockingly wonderful, amazing, and it’s because of the Jewish response. [I have gotten so many comments like,] “We needed this. We needed to see someone who’s just joyfully Jewish and happy and full of Jewish pride.” And that’s been the most amazing part of this.
[Deb notices the mug she’s sipping from]
Oh, wait, look! “Even a secret agent can’t lie to a Jewish mother!”
I love it. I’ve heard you say that you didn’t really know that much about “The Circle” before actually going on the show. Tell me how you went from clueless to being everyone’s favorite contestant!
Maddie, my friend’s daughter, and her fiance have been watching the show since season one, they’re obsessed with it. Two years ago, [the show was casting] and they called me and they’re like, “We think you should be on this show. It’s our favorite reality TV show.” I love Maddie. I’ve watched Maddie grow up, she’s like a niece to me. But I went and watched some promo, and I said, “There are no old people on there.” Maddie goes, “No, there are, every other season or so they have someone your age on the show.” So I went to the website and I made her stay on FaceTime with me while I filled out the form. I’ve never laughed so hard in my life. We were crying laughing, and then at the end, they wanted a one-minute video. And I said, “What should I do?” She was like, “Just be you and talk.” I literally did it in one take. We laughed hysterically and thought nothing of it.
Five months later, I got a call. My son, who is fine now — I always like to start with that, he is fine now — but he was in the hospital at the time. He has epilepsy and he was in the hospital because he had a seizure. So I got this call from “The Circle” [while he was in the hospital] and I actually said to them, “I can’t talk to you right now.” And they said, “Can you talk tomorrow?” And I said, “No.” And they said, “Well, when do you think you’ll be free?” I said, “I really don’t know. Can you send me an email?” Like, that’s how much I didn’t realize what a big deal this was — I didn’t get back in touch with them until a week later, when my son was out of the hospital! [Once I was cast] I binge-watched all the seasons. Maddie and [her fiance] Dylan, we joke that they’re my Circle coaches, so they started coaching me. And that’s how it all happened!
For those who didn’t watch the show, we should clarify — you ended up catfishing on “The Circle,” playing a young woman in her 20s named Rachel. I want to talk a little bit about how you decided to be Rachel. Did you ever think like, oh, I’ll just be Deb? Or were you like, I’m definitely gonna be a catfish?
Oh sure, I was like, I could be me, Deb, but the adults never do all that well… at the end of the day, with people flirting and making these alliances, it was better to catfish. I really was over-confident that I could totally pull this off.
You did a really good job! I was very impressed.
I will say, being a catfish, you also feel like you can be a little more free or crazy, like you’re not yourself, right? After a while, you start to feel like you can say or do anything, because it’s not you. I think going in as myself wouldn’t have been as entertaining… I mean, I’m funny, but watching me on the show as Rachel… I’m not kidding you, I really did think: I got it! I did not. I did not, but that’s OK.
You did!
Eventually. I got there, eventually,
And you kept your catfish Jewish.
Yes, of course!
Tell me a little bit about that. Why catfish as Rachel, a young Jewish woman?
Rachel’s Jewish. Rachel herself is a Jewish girl. Maddie, who got me on the show? Rachel is her best friend. So I watched Rachel grow up as well — it’s all connected! She’s not a glam girl, and I knew if I was gonna pick someone to pose as, I wanted it to be someone that when I looked at the picture on the screen, I could feel like that was me. Even when I was younger, I was never into makeup. Rachel’s a beautiful girl, but she doesn’t do a lot of makeup, she doesn’t use all these filters… she just is who she is. So I felt like I could be her. But I could never have pretended to be someone who wasn’t Jewish, even as a catfish. It’s such an important part of who I am.
That’s so special.
And I wanted to make sure that everyone knew that this was a Jewish girl. That’s why I put, you know, “Shalom Circle” in there. It was important.
That’s just who you are.
That’s just who I am. [We started filming a few days after Oct. 7, and I asked my rabbi, should I go on the show? It feels wrong.] And he said, be your joyful Jewish self. He said, “Deb, I don’t know when this show will come out, but I have a feeling it might be really nice for Jewish people to see someone who’s just proudly Jewish.” And he was 100% right. People have been like, Oh, thank God. Someone on TV is saying, “Being Jewish is the best thing that’s ever happened to me!”
I will tell you something interesting. I actually was studying Hebrew while I was in there, because I never had a bat mitzvah, I never learned to read Hebrew. So I wanted to learn and I figured I was going to have all this downtime because you have no music, no TV. I read seven books, I did my latch hook project and I learned Hebrew — and the only thing they never showed was me with the Hebrew! I think [the producers] were trying to protect me a little bit because I was so super Jewish. They were like, let’s leave the Hebrew out.
Oh wow. That would have been fun to see though!
You have to see me going bat… bat… bye… beyit! That’s a house! Beyit!
Are you thinking about having an adult bat mitzvah?
Yes! I joined the adult class at my temple, but right now it’s not the right time… I have to wait. My kids are all over the place, I need them to be there… I was like, forget it, I’ll do it in my own time. But I can read Hebrew now!
Mazel tov, that’s very exciting.
Toda!
OK, we have to talk about your Phillow [a pillow with her husband, Phil’s, face on it].
Look, here’s his girlfriend, Linda Belcher!
Wait, can I take a screenshot of this?
Yeah, hang on.
Oh my goodness, perfect. Thank you. OK, how did Phillow come to be? Because now my wife and I both want pillows of each other. Have any of your friends purchased pillows of their own spouses since the show aired?
So actually, my friend’s husband was having his 60th birthday a couple of months before I got on the show. Some ad came up on my social media with these weird pillows. And I’m crying laughing, and I go to the site, and I make a pillow of my friend and his wife, and I take a screenshot, and I send it to my friends, and we’re like, that’s his present. It was the best gift that ever happened.
So when I got on the show, I knew I had to make a Phillow. And I was like, he needs more clothing. You see me changing his clothes [on the show] — those are Build-A-Bear clothes. Maddie had her old Build-A-Bear and that’s how I had clothes for him.
Wow, OK, a hot tip for anybody looking to get their very own Phillow!
To be honest, after a while, I kind of got used to having him sitting with me! When he wasn’t there I’d be like, wait, where’s Phil? Which is why he’s on my work desk now.
Besides Phillow, your closest relationship on the show was Gianna — a catfish actually played by twin brothers from Long Island who were pretending to be one of their girlfriends. I loved your friendship. Are you three still in touch?
We’re all in touch, the whole group! But yeah, it’s hard to explain unless you’re from Staten Island, but I knew if I made an alliance with someone from Staten Island, and they knew I had a Staten Island connection, we would never ever turn on each other — and we didn’t. But I was so convinced about Gianna [and her identity], like she was gonna be the daughter I didn’t have. We were gonna get our nails done. I was gonna go to Staten Island and visit her!
Have you met the real Gianna?
I have! She’s the cutest, sweetest thing. And ready for this? She’s half Jewish!
Of course! One of the really emotional moments on the show for me was when you and Garrett meet and then you talk about your son, Jonathan, who died of accidental fentanyl poisoning. I’m so sorry.
Thank you. When I got on the show, it felt like Jonathan was part of it all. He was kind of like me, really outgoing, so I felt like I got on the show almost for him. And when Garrett came on, one of the things I always think about, because I have actually lost a child: How does a family not support a child? Like, this beautiful, amazing young man feels so alone. Heartbreaking! I don’t understand, I don’t get it.
What you don’t see [in the episode] is we wound up talking for an hour and a half. I was just listening to him and I was like, you deserve all the love. And then at the end he was like, I haven’t even asked you about your family. Tell me about your family. That’s what a good person he is. He was like, oh my gosh, how could I not have asked you? And I felt like, well, let me let him know. It was really my only chance to share Jonathan, because I was catfishing. I couldn’t tell anyone else. [The producers] had asked, are you going to share anything about him if that ever comes up? And I said, 100%. I had in my head: If I get the chance, I want to talk about him.
I wondered if you’d planned to share it.
It was deliberate. I knew if I had the chance, I wanted to make sure people heard his story. Because the other thing is we’ve always been very honest about what happened with him. I had a lot of people reaching out to me about losing a child, losing a child to addiction, things like that. And I feel like maybe that’s part of my healing: to help other people as well.
Was there anything that happened while you were filming that didn’t make it on the show?
I think they do a good job with the editing. I really do. But the chats are much longer than what you see. They try to give you the essence. But if you’re wondering how we all get so attached to each other, it’s because the chats are a lot longer.
That makes so much sense.
Right, like how did Jadejha and Darian legit fall in love? The conversations are much longer.
Are they still together?
They’re getting married next October.
Oh my God, I’m so happy!!!
They are the cutest couple.
I know you care very deeply about Hanukkah decorations. I want to know if there’s any specific decoration this year that you’re extra excited about.
Every year, Phil does not know what’s going to show up. It’s very exciting for him! I have a Hanukkah stuffed animal collection that is out of control. The whole house looks like Hanukkah vomited all over it. It kind of started off as a joke — when I was a little girl, I was like, why can’t we have blue and white lights? And my mother’s like, Jewish people don’t put up lights. And I was like, really, all right, so when I became an adult, it started off with me just putting up some blue and white lights, and then it turned into: How obnoxious could my decorations get?
Is there anything else you want to share with the Hey Alma audience?
I think it’s really hard to be out and proud and Jewish right now. I get it. But I think you will be pleasantly surprised by the love that will come back to you. Will you get hate? Of course. But I really believe that you will get so much more positive feedback, and you’ll realize how important it is that we actually keep putting ourselves out there and keep making sure people know we’re proud. That’s what I would share: Put yourself out there. We all need to see proud, happy Jews. And I am a proud, happy, joyful Jew.
