We asked you to send us your best ideas for Hanukkah movies. We chose our top 9. You voted. And now, we are so excited to announce the winner of Hey Alma’s sixth annual Hanukkah Movie Pitch challenge!
Not coming soon to any theaters near you — because, again, we are not a movie studio but merely a Jewish website — is Sarah Muszynski’s original Hanukkah film, “The Royal Mohel.”
How about a little commotion for the poster by Hey Alma graphic design aficionado Avital Dayanim?!
Here’s Sarah Muszynski’s winning plot:
“In a small Eastern European country, a royal baby has been born to King Ansel and his beautiful wife, Queen Dina! Queen Dina is Jewish, though, and this small country does not have its own mohel… so Dina recruits her brother’s childhood friend Brandon from New York City to fly to Eastern Europe to perform the ceremony. Brandon soon arrives in Eastern Europe only to meet Princess Bea, King Ansel’s charming sister, who feels like there must be something better out there than the Christmas festivities in her small town.
“Brandon embarks on a whirlwind educational tour over the next six days leading up to the bris — he teaches Bea about Hanukkah, and they create new Hanukkah festivities in the town, including a Hanukkah market, gelt-making, a progressive sufganiyot tour from house to house and a Hanukkah ball held two nights before the bris. At the ball, Brandon and Bea share a kiss under the sparkling latke disco ball, but then Brandon gets word from a huge congregation back in New York that their mohel is retiring and they would like him take over. It’s his dream job! With Brandon set to leave the day after the Bris, Bea scrambles to find her country’s small but thriving Jewish community and build connections with the Jewish communities in the 12 other small countries in close proximity. Together, they find a way to create a centralized mohel position for Brandon. Bea surprises him with the news and confesses her love, as well as that she is going to begin the conversion process and make the Hanukkah festivities an annual event. Brandon shares his feelings and how pleased he is with what Bea has done, telling her she has chutzpah.
“The film ends with the community celebrating the bris, collectively shouting ‘Mazel tov!’ first as Brandon completes the ceremony (in a Hallmark censored-for-TV version) and again when he walks over to Bea to kiss her in front of everyone. After a fade to black and ‘the end’ appears on screen, two anthropomorphized cartoon sufganiyot strut to the center from either side, join together in a kiss, and pull the ‘the end’ off screen together.”
A mohel named Brandon, a heart-warming tale of someone finding Judaism, a sparkling latke disco ball AND strutting anthropomorphized cartoon sufganiyot?! This movie has absolutely everything — except casting, that is. The Hey Alma team took the liberty of casting everyone’s favorite hot TV rabbi Adam Brody in the role of Brandon and actress Leighton Meester, his wife IRL, in the role of Princess Bea.
“A few years ago, a friend and I started a list of Hallmark Hanukkah film titles – the punnier, the better – and this was the final one I came up with. I had a loose vision of the Hallmark films featuring a royal from a fictional European country, but with a Jewish twist!” Sarah, who identifies as a Hallmark films devotee and aficionado of terrible puns, told Hey Alma. “I also wanted to include as many genre tropes as possible, including educating an outsider about the holidays, a holiday ‘miracle,’ an inconvenient obstacle or misunderstanding and a final public display of affection.”
Sarah lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her adorable dog, Pearl. By day, she teaches high school English and cinema studies; this is her 17th year teaching and 10th year living out west. She is originally from Cleveland, Ohio, with stopovers in St. Louis, New York City, DC, Indianapolis and Minneapolis. Hobbies include exploring the independent coffee shop scene, watching theater (especially musical theater), trying (and failing at) various crafts, baking treats containing cranberries and spoiling her nephews silly.
“Do I need to invest in stealthy disguises to hide from the paparazzi?” Sarah joked when we asked her what she would do with all the fame and glory associated with winning the Hey Alma Hanukkah movie pitch contest.
She added, “But really, I’m going to use this as confirmation that I’m happiest when I’m being creative. I want to prioritize that moving forward, embrace more opportunities to share my humor and passions and connect with people who celebrate that side of me.”
Since our winner’s looking for people to celebrate her creativity, let’s get the party started! Mazel tov, Sarah!!
